This is why we don't leave the house

The girls were in rare form today. Crying. Laughing. Screaming. Roaring.
(the lion kind)

We were supposed to go to my friend's son's 1st birthday party today. I was so looking forward to this. Apparently, the girls were not.
They took their morning nap and I hoped and prayed they would be different babies when they woke up. 
I WAS WRONG.
Not different. More of the same. Crying. Hitting. Giggling. Teething. Pooping.
There was no way I could take them out in public. I envisioned what the party would have been like.

It would have taken me an hour (at least. if you know me you know my kind of hour is actually 2) to get them ready, bag packed and myself ready. Then I would have put them in the car and headed off. We may have been there 3 minutes before the screaming would have started.
Other mothers would have stared at me.

"Look at that poor girl. Twins can't be that hard, she just doesn't know what she's doing. Look, she's a mess. Who brings twins to a party? It was so nice with all the other 15 well behaved children who were playing quietly before SHE got here. What does she do to them? It must be her. I know I would do it differently. Oh, now she's gone and done it. She put that THING in their mouths to try to keep them quiet. Pacifiers! I would NEVER give that to my child at 13 MONTHS! My child would never behave this way. My child never even needed a pacifier. My child is amazing and gifted.
Did you see her too? It's not "baby weight" if your baby is 13 months old. Heh."
::dies of judgment::
We would have left 20 minutes later.

This is what goes through my mind when I leave the house. People stare and ask/say inappropriate things because I have 2 babies of the same age. That gives me them the right to ask me whatever they want, whenever they feel suited to.

So we didn't go to the party. I put orajel on pained gums, gave snuggles and fed them popsicles. My ears bled from the screaming every now and then but no one else knew what the day was like.
Except you now.
I can feel you judging me. I swear I'm a good mom and they are good kids who are well-behaved 70% of the time and I'll lose the weight some day.
Ok, I swear to at least 2 of those things.